High on emotion

Posted on Thu Aug 27th, 2026 @ 10:32pm by Gunnar Arnason & Jarron von Münsterland & Nveid tr'Rehu

5,211 words; about a 26 minute read

Mission: Intermission: Safe Haven
Location: Private residence
Timeline: Evening day 2 after arrival

"Dad, is it okay if I go out and explore the colony?" Jarron leaned back in his seat, putting his fork down on his plate. One look at his father though, and the boy knew something wasn't right. Something felt odd, but he couldn't quite figure out what. Most of their dinner, he had observed his father just moved the food around on the plate and not eat much.

"Dad?" Jarron reached out, touching his father's hand to draw his attention. "Are you alright?"

Flinching at the touch, NVeid pulled his hand back, then offered a small smile in apology. I'm fine. he lied. Yes you can go out but I want you back here before it gets dark.

"Are you sure?" The boy cast him a concerned look. "You don't look alright..."

NVeid nodded as he rose and stacked the plates together, waving him off with a single gesture. Watching the teenager go, he put the plates back into the replicator for reclamation, sighing soundlessly in an attempt to regain some semblance of control. When he was certain he was alone he slid down the wall and sobbed soundlessly, the strain of keeping up the appearance of a brave face finally being released.

Outside, Gunnar arrived at the door with a PaDD under his arm loaded with books and vids of horses. He'd promised Jarron he'd send him information, and was looking forward to sharing his favorite animal obsession with the teen, but he as he hadn't heard back from Savin and hadn't seen NVeid at the hospital, he was also using it as an the excuse to check in on him.

After rapping on the door, he stepped back, hoping he'd waited long enough to avoid interrupting dinner.

Not expecting visitors, NVeid didn't move from his spot on the floor. Not knowing who was calling because he has vowed not to use his telepathy, he simply stared at the door for at least a minute. Perhaps, if he waited long enough, whoever was there would go away. Unfortunately, he was trembling so badly with all the held in stress, the PADD he had automatically reached for clattered loudly to the floor.

Gunnar had been about to decide that no one was home when he heard a faint clatter. He was concerned, but his first thought was that if NVeid didn't want visitors, he wasn't going to impose - he knew all too well what it was like to want to be left alone to deal with hard emotions. But just as he was about to walk away, he considered some of the high emotions from last night. He expected the colonists to obey an order from the Subcommander, but... well, you could never know.

Turning back, he rapped on the door again and called (in case that might be enough to make interlopers run). "NVeid, it's Gunnar. I brought a PaDD with some information for Jarron."

"Come." The sound had a hint of artificialness to it but still had a mild baritone timbre to it. Had it been a real voice it would've sounded miserable. As the door slid aside, NVeid leaned back against the wall, trying to fight back more tears that wouldn't stop falling. [Jarron isn't here.] He signed feebly, as if his whole body was drained of energy.

Instantly worried at the sight, Gunnar tossed the PaDD aside and pulled out his medscanner as he went to him. He didn't ask if he was all right, as he clearly was not. The question in his mind was if this emotional overload or if someone had been inside and attacked him. "What happened?"

Tear stained eyes looked up at the Human, their colour bordering on obsidian with the dark emotions that ran through the hybrid's mind. He was breathing hard, fighting to control it. He shook his head, trying to indicate nothing had happened, his hands trembling as he attempted to sign. [Nothing.] Was barely interpretable.

A glance at the scanner showed no physical injury, which confirmed in Gunnar's mind that the issue was emotional. Savin had said that NVeid felt things deeply, and the last couple days would have been hard on anyone. Knowing how little he'd liked being seen when he was falling apart, he could have just about kicked himself for intruding. At the same time, the man in front of him was clearly in pain, and he felt compelled to help. Torn, he paused a step away, giving NVeid a span of personal space. "It doesn't look like nothing," he said gently. "But I've been through such 'nothing' before, and if you want to be alone, I'll respect that. And forget I ever saw this. But if you want to talk, or just have someone present even to sit in silence, I'm here."

The hardest being losing his voice a second time and once again feeling like a pariah among his own people. He drew in another shuddering breath and shook his head, shifting to try and push himself up to his feet. When his own body wouldn't cooperate he sighed. [No, stay.] He finally sighed, knowing that the last thing he should be right now, was to be alone. Still, to be seen as such an emotional mess felt highly shameful, and he was at least glad Jarron wasn't here to witness it. [Today was difficult.] He confessed as he made a second attempt to get to his feet. [I understand the sentiment, but it hurts that my feelings don't seem to be considered. My choices, or lack thereof are used against me.] His expression was one of despair as he signed with shaking hands, his breath still not under control.

Gunnar almost offered a hand to help him up, but reconsidered; if he couldn't stand on his own he wouldn't be able to keep his feet and the only thing more humiliating than being seen in the midst of an emotional breakdown would be having to have a nurse help you to a chair like an invalid. So instead, he lowered himself to the ground, and sat cross-legged across from him. He wasn't sure what to say. He could see the pain it caused NVeid but also sympathized with the colonists, whose reasons for fear and wariness he understood all too well. It hadn't been the intent, but the doctor's arrival was an unexpected challenge to an already challenging situation for people still shaken by their own massive trauma. But this wasn't the time or place to say that. "I know it's hard. Feelings are running high everywhere right now. But this storm will pass. What do you need to weather it?"

[I do understand their feelings.] NVeid repeated. [But no-one seems to want to understand mine. I don't know what I need... distraction mostly I think. Something to do to keep me occupied and still feel useful. I know I'm to go with the ship but until then what am I supposed to do to keep everyone satisfied?]

Work on yourself... The thought came unbidden, though from experience. He didn't say it. The repeated complaint that no one was concerned with his emotions striking Gunnar as sign that he wasn't ready to hear that. It also showed, despite his belief that he understood their feelings, he did not; or at least didn't understand them. So maybe that needed to be addressed to some degree, and perhaps it would help take him out of himself to think on the pain the others felt. "You've lived in the Federation from some time now and weren't in a normal part of Romulan society before you left, so you may not realize this, but Romulans don't typically seek to know another's feelings, or show their own, especially to strangers." It was likely something NVeid understood intellectually, but he hoped restating it might help him connect it emotionally.

"That said," he continued, speaking gently, "you aren't wrong to feel shunned, because they are fearful of you, and these people have been through so much fear and trauma, that faced with yet another unknown, another potential threat, the natural impulse is to withdraw, put up walls. I don't think there's anything that will satisfy those fears except time, the slow erosion of those walls as they see you aren't who their worst fears imagine you might be. I've heard Dr. Gable plans to put your immunology experience to use evaluating the microbes on this new world, which will be a great service and hopefully a worthy distraction."

[That may work.] NVeid nodded slowly while still trying to get his breathing back under control. Slowly, he pulled one sleeve all the way over his hand and held it out slowly. [Will you help me up?] Signing with just one has was a little more cumbersome but not undoable. [I'm being a bad host.] He continued. [Thank you for staying with me, it means more to me than you think.] He paused, mustering a small smile. [Would you like a drink and tell me what you brought for Jarron?]

Gunnar watched as NVeid regained control of himself. He more than understood how having valuable work to do could change your whole outlook. Appreciating the gesture to shield from inadvertent touch telepathic contact, Gunnar rose and took the cloth covered hand, helping him to his feet. "Thank you, a drink would be nice," he said. It seemed best to him to let NVeid regain his dignity by acting as host, and he resolved to just discuss Jarron and horses unless NVeid indicated he wanted to talk about what had just happened. Otherwise, he would act as though it had been forgotten.

Trusting himself to move slowly, NVeid prepared two large mugs of steaming and very fragrant tea. He set one on the table before Gunnar and one before himself as he took a seat. He stared at the steam rising from the mug for several seconds, before finally looking up. He looked calmer, though his mind was far from. [I am glad Jarron was not here to witness this.] He confessed, his signing a fraction more steady now. [Though it's entirely possible he sensed it coming and wanted to give me some space, I'll never know. He's a good boy you know, and he means everything to me.]

Taking a small sip from the tea, he gestured at the stack Gunnar had brought. [Tell me about your reading material?]

"He is a fine young man," Gunnar agreed. He suspected Jarron did know his adoptive father well enough to have made that call, and made a mental note of it as sign. "We were talking when he came in for his exam this morning and I told him about how I'd worked at my grandparents' horse farm. He'd never seen a horse." He shook his head, taking a small sip of tea to hide the surprise he still felt at that. "So I showed him some pictures, and he was interested so I told him I'd give some more information on them."

[I've heard of them but I've never seen one for myself either.] It took great effort to turn his senses inwards, taking great pains not to sense anything which felt both uncomfortable and unnatural. Still, he made the effort, mostly successful but not wholly, and he knew it'd cost him later in terms of energy. Thus, he failed to react to the evident sense of surprise. [Loyal creatures if I'm not mistaken? Yes, please encourage his interest, so far he hasn't really shown any interest in something he might like to study. It will give him some purpose.]

That Nveid hadn't seen a horse was slightly less surprising, but still sad. Gunnar reached for the PaDD and opened it to pictures of horses. "These are horses. And yes, they are smart and loyal. He did seem very interested, so perhaps he'll find his way to becoming a vet." And wouldn't that be ironic, if he didn't follow his father into the profession but wound up encouraging someone else's child toward it. "Or animal husbandry. Eventually the farms here will be established enough for that."

[Husbandry?] A single eyebrow arched in evidence of surprise. [If Jarron wants to be a vet, then I certainly welcome the encouragement. He doesn't seem at all interested in my profession or that of his grandfather. My father is a diplomat.] He smiled, more fondly now. [I will support him in whatever he chooses to be, though I wish he did show more interest as he does not seem to have any thoughts about education so far.]

"The science of breeding and caring for animals is a good profession. Like a vet, but more focused on day-to-day care and ensuring the health of the breed as well," Gunnar explained. Given how many of his family and friends back home were in the field, he felt like he needed to show it wasn't something to be dismissed. "As to education, it's not unusual to take some time to find a direction. I was studying sociology when one of the projects led me to nursing."

NVeid nodded. [He is fourteen. Usually children have a fair idea what they'd like to be when they grow up at a young age. That's at least what I heard from other parents over the years. I've not heard my sister mention it during our calls when she cared for him when I couldn't.] He paused, thinking that might need clarification. [I wanted Jarron with me but my last assignment didn't allow for families. It was a very hard choice to make, sending him to my sister on Betazed.]

Now it was his turn to show as he picked up a different PADD and called up an image of himself and two dark haired, black eyed women who were young enough to be his own children. [My sisters.] He clarified, somewhat proudly, though he did not share their names. He swiped until there was an image of the younger of the two, together with Jarron, taken when he was about ten. [He adores his aunt but he's always made it clear he wanted to be out here with me. I don't know what I've done to deserve such loyalty from him when I had to leave him behind at such a young age.] He took another sip from his tea then gestured at Gunnar's PADD. [When would you expect these animals to arrive? I would encourage including Jarron even before they do.]

"Sadly, having horses here will have to wait until crops are better established and adding livestock will take priority. Or it may wait until we find another place locate." Gunnar sighed sadly. Someday he'd settle down somewhere that he bring horses. Switching to a happier topic, he looked at NVeid's pictures. "Your sisters are lovely. I'm glad you were able to connect with family on that side. Will they be taking Jarron again when you leave on Orainavassa?"

NVeid shook his head, though he hadn't considered the options beyond that. [If he can receive training here, he should remain in the colony. I wish he could come on the Ourainavassa but I doubt he'll be permitted to. As long as there's someone to look in on him, I believe he'll be fine.]

Gunnar nodded, took a sip of his tea as he weighed making an offer. He should really discuss it with T'Ango first, but he felt he knew what her answer would be. "If there's no one else he'd be better staying with, T'Ango and I can look after him. I'm not sure what training to offer, but if he needs martial arts training, T'Ango is good at that." He ducked his head with a slight self-deprecating smile. "She even managed to teach me, despite my general resistance to fighting."

There was the sound of the door opening and sliding shut and NVeid seemed briefly distracted by it. [He needs everything,] he answered, [and it's very kind of you to offer. I already owe you a great deal.]

Jarron entered the room, a look of surprise on his face that quickly turned into a bright smile. "Hey Gunnar, what brings you here?" He asked as he moved to give his father a tell tale hug, as if he knew what has gone on in the brief time he'd been out.

"Hi, Jarron. I dropped by to give you this," Gunnar replied with a smile, offering the PADD. "I'm not sure how much you wanted to learn about horses, but about everything you'd want to know is here, from history to physiology to training. You're father and I were having tea and he was telling me that he was trying to work out training and education for you here. My wife, T'Ango, is very good at teaching martial arts if you're interested."

Jarron took the PADD, casting the man a gigawatt smile of gratitude. "I want to learn everything," he promised, then glanced between the two men, knowing full well something wasn't said here. "Well it was made painfully clear to me yesterday that I really don't know anything. They might as well treat me like a little kid because I don't really know the language and I don't even know how to defend myself in a scuffle. If I have any hope of fitting in and earning some respect of those my age, I have to learn don't I?"

The boy looked hopeful at the offer. "I'll take whatever Mrs T'Ango can teach me."

NVeid nodded in consent. [He needs to learn. I have not been able to, and my sister couldn't because she doesn't know any herself. I only know how to defend, and I'm not good at it.]

"With the notable exception of Dr. Gable, most medical staff aren't," Gunnar assured, and looked to Jarron. "Don't feel badly about being treated like a kid. When I first started interacting with Romulans, they treated me the same - and I was well into my twenties. Which, admittedly, is an age well below maturity by Romulan standards," he added with a wry smile. "I can help you understand Romulan culture and the basics of the language, though I think you'll pick it up best interacting with native speakers. T'Ango - not Mrs., her people don't use that, so Lt. T'Ango if you feel like you need to use an honorific - is a decorated Marine and if anyone can teach you to defend yourself, she can."

"Oh I don't feel bad about it," Jarron grinned happily, "I'm grabbing at all the help I can get. The sooner I learn the sooner I'll not stand out that much. There's a girl about my age I met yesterday, she's been a great help so far and I'm hoping to meet hier again tomorrow. She was minding very little ones and she seemed very happy to teach me." The boy was positively beaming at the prospect. Yet at the mention of defence, he sobered a little, casting a concerned glance towards his father. "I'll take that offer too sir," he continued, "not just to defend myself against the dangers out there or even from my peers at the moment."

The boy stood and rested a hand on his father's shoulder. "I want to be able to defend my dad if it's needed, since he won't defend himself. Or anyone else that needs it and can't or won't defend themselves."

Gunnar suppressed a sigh. As much as he could appreciate the boy's feelings, that way lay trouble. He almost regretted the offer of martial arts training, except that Jarron did need it to be part of the community, and he trusted T'Ango more than anyone else here to instill sense into him with respect to using any skills she taught. Still.. "Jarron, the first rule of self-defense is that the best defense is avoid a fighting if at all possible. T'Ango will emphasize this to you, so I want to say it first so you won't get frustrated with her methods and give up. The first week or so of lessons will be how to safely take a fall, and the next month will be on slipping or ducking a strike."

"I don't give up that easy sir," Jarron promised, "I know I need this, and I'll see it through. It's not like our stay here is temporary is it?" He smiled at the Human, his dark eyes sparkling. "I think we'll be here a while and my future, I think, is here. So even if it was just for me, I'll make it work."

"Good. I haven't discussed this with T'Ango yet, but I'm fairly sure she'll agree as long as you're willing to work and follow her rules," Gunnar replied. He flashed a brief smile. "I may be prejudiced, but I think she's an excellent instructor."

"If you say she is then she is," Jarron smiled back. He glanced sideways at his father, who hadn't 'said' anything in a while. "Sir, why don't I walk back with you? Dad looks like he could fall asleep any second." The boy looked a mix of imploring and apologetic, as he hugged his father a second time. "I'll be back in a few minutes," he promised, "you don't have to wait for me."

NVeid nodded minutely, giving his permission. The boy wasn't wrong he did feel exhausted. [Just let me know if you'll be away longer.]

"Of course," Jarron promised, tugging down his tunic as he straightened. He led Gunnar outside and as soon as the door closed behind them and they were out of immediate auditory range, Jarron looked up at the man. "Thank you. For being with him," he said simply. "Whatever you said, it seems to have helped."

"He's had a hard day and just needed to talk," Gunnar said simply. However much Jarron felt of his father's emotions, it wasn't for him to share what he'd seen. "I imagine your day wasn't that easy either," he tipped a brow slightly, "despite meeting a nice girl."

"Easier than his," Jarron replied sadly, "I'm not an outcast among my own people. Yes I'm an outsider, but it's different. I do know how he feels, obviously, but it's not the same. He tries to protect me though, that's why I went out for a little bit. I'm glad you were there though."

Gunnar nodded. "I feel a bit badly about showing up when he wanted to be left to himself, but I'm not someone he feels a need to protect, so perhaps it was easier to talk to me." He glanced back at the door. "I think he'll be all right. He survived worse, and while he may be an outcast here at present, he's had the experience of being accepted by family on Betazed and by crew on starships. This may have thrown him more because he expected something similar..." once again Gunnar had the thought that he'd cheerfully send T'Ango to flex claws at whomever sent him here without any decent briefing on what to expect "...but I think being on Orainavassa will help. the Romulans there might stay wary, but there are more non-Romulans and if they come to accept him, more of the Romulan crew might."

"I've seen him worse, and I've seen him better." Jarron sighed softly. "And he's completely closed off. He's making a real effort not to sense anything, and I know this because he didn't even respond to my feelings. He simply didn't know, and that's making it worse. Perhaps, in time, people will accept who he is, when they get to know him, like I do." He stopped waking and glanced around. "This place is eerily beautiful at night," he commented, "maybe I can convince dad to come camping sometime. I think the quiet of nature will help. It did me, when I was small."

In which case my presence probably just made it worse... next time, I'll ask Savin or Nancy to check on him. "I wish I weren't contributing to his need for that effort to close off, but after years of therapy I don't think I'm getting any better there." He looked around, taking in the night sky, the trace of Milky Way cutting across the plains outside town. "For all its challenges, it is beautiful here. We have a tent if you ever want to borrow it."

"You're not sir, don't blame yourself. He knows he has to do this, so you need to let him try. It's his way to earn your trust, you need to allow him to try. He'll get better." Sounding way more mature than his mere fourteen years of age, Jarron reached out and touched his sleeve ever so lightly. "I really appreciate your looking out for him, I really do." He allowed a silence to fall and looked at the sky once more. "I'll take that offer until we can get our own but I'll give him a few days before I suggest it."

It occurred to him that Jarron was parenting NVeid as much as vice versa. At least in the current situation, though Jarron seemed to fall into the role too easily for this to be new. It was something to keep in mind if he did wind up staying with them. "Looking out for people is..." ...a compulsion, part of a core identity as a caretaker that leaves you feeling unmoored if denied... He shook his head, pushing aside the memory of Dr. Graham's diagnosis. "...I just wouldn't feel right not checking in if there might be reason to be concerned. Anyway, this is my home. Would like to come in and meet T'Ango?"

Jarron hasn't realised he'd walked the nurse home all the way even though the distance between the residences wasn't all that great. "Please," he answered both politely and excitedly. "If I'm not intruding on your private time that is," he added uncertainly, "I won't stay long...I told dad I wouldn't stay away too long."

"We won't keep you long, but don't worry about intruding on private time. We're caring for two of the orphans and with a 3-year-old and an infant in the house, 'private time' is mostly just falling asleep exhausted in the same place. But I will ask you to speak quietly in case by some miracle they're sleeping," Gunnar explained as he unlocked the door.

Inside, T'Ango had a baby sling across her chest, the bulge of an occupant evident by movement within. She came to them, ears perked and oriented on their guest, though she greeted Gunnar with a quick affectionate head bump. "Welcome," she whispered. "Tafv is asleep, so forgive a subdued greeting."

"Understood," Gunnar replied in a hushed tone. "T'Ango, this is Jarron, NVeid's son. We got to talking about horses at his medical check in."

T'Ango swallowed a chuckle. "That explains everything. Pleased to meet you, and please come in."

"Pleased to meet you too ma'am," the boy answered in polite but hushed tone. "And what does which explain?" He leaned up on his toes to peer at the baby. "Is Tafv a boy or a girl?" He asked curiously, having no clue towards Romulan naming nomenclature.

"Horses," T'Ango replied with soft laugh. "My mate is obsessed, so it explains why he's home a bit late with you in tow." She smiled down at the baby. "This one is Raehna, a girl. Tafv is a boy. He's asleep in another room."

"I wasn't home when he visited, I had gone for a brief walk after dinner," Jarron said, eyes still on the baby. "So he was waiting for me when I got home. And then I offered to walk with him as dad's tired and well..mi had questions." He smiled, leaving some of their discussion right in the middle. "Is she sleeping?" He gestured towards the infant, clearly interested in that area as well. "I don't have any siblings...just me and dad at the moment."

T'Ango glanced momentarily up at Gunnar. There was clearly more going on than a mutual interest in horses, but she'd get the whole story later. "She's dozing, not quite asleep, but getting there. As long as someone is carrying her," she explained, moving the sling carefully with Gunnar instantly moving to help lift it with baby off of her and transfer it to himself. "Thanks." She cast a grateful look at Gunnar, and stretched her shoulder. "Maybe the added height will help her finally drop off. Anyway, Jarron, other than about the baby, what questions did you have?"

"Uhm..." Jarron fidgeted shyly as attention was suddenly wholly on him. "Mister Gunnar says you're an expert in self defense ma'am," he started, "and I don't have any skills in that and if I don't want to be picked on or left behind with my peers...I need some help with that." He hesitated, glancing from one to the other. "And if really necessary, I want to be able to defend my dad...but only if really necessary..."

"Flattery is part of the reason I fell for him," T'Ango joked with a quick smile up at the man. "But yes, I've led teams in combat and fought close quarters against pirates and soldiers, so 'expert' is probably fair. But I have a collection of Wound Badges that show I've faced others more worthy of the term."

She studied the young teen, tail swishing lightly, as she sized him up. Just by his stance she could tell he'd had very little experience in martial arts. And since his agemates in the colony would have had training with knives, staves, and various hand-to-hand forms, he was hopelessly behind for joining any of the classes Hatham's father was leading. And he wasn't Romulan. Those factors alone explained why she would be the best option here for him to learn. "I can teach you. But it will be some time before you'll be able to defend anyone, even yourself. So, if I teach you, you have to swear - on your honor," the way she said 'honor' it carried a weight beyond what most in the Federation would place on it, possibly more than even Klingons would, "that unless it is truly life-or-death and fleeing is not an option, you won't fight anyone until I tell you that you're ready."

"Mister Gunnar told me it may take months," Jarron acknowledged seriously. "But I will give you my word, on my honour," he did understand honour was a thing among the Romulans, especially if he had to go on his father's behaviour, "I won't fight anyone unless as a last resort, until you tell me I can."

She weighed his sincerity a moment, then nodded. "It's last to start tonight, but if you're free come by tomorrow after midday."

"After midday, yes ma'am," Jarron vowed. "Thank you ma'am. I should return home now." He smiled brightly at her, then at Gunnar. "Good night ma'am, sir. And thank you again, for tonight. I won't forget and I doubt dad will." With that, he turned and hurried out.

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