Clearing the Air

Posted on Thu May 21st, 2020 @ 2:28am by Major Ashley Rogers & Subcommander Kaiae t'Lien

1,376 words; about a 7 minute read

Mission: Chapter I: Resurgam
Location: Briefing Room, Raven's Claw
Timeline: 238612.18

Ash lingered behind as everyone was dismissed from the meeting. Raven's last words to them echoed in her head, We can't leave innocent civilians to extinction just because their own government is not realizing the danger they are in. She didn't know everyone on board well yet, uncertain of anyone's motivations or backstories. But at least with the Romulans on board, they all had a personal interest in this... Ashley Rogers, the human must seem like a wild card to them.

"Lieutenant," Ash called out to Kaiae, "A word please?" Once the Romulan turned, she continued, "Have I given you any reason to doubt me?" The question was not intended to be threatening, but out of pure curiosity, as she continued, "The big mission is a noble one and I know how important this is for many people. I may not have as much of a personal stake in this as some of you, but it is important to me that we succeed."

"I have no more reason to doubt you than any other I have little history with." Kaiae replied, somewhat perplexed at the question but pleased at the statement of support of the mission.

Ash noticed the slight confusion and clarified, "I was just curious, that's all... because I took a little offense to your comment earlier during the meeting. I was uncertain if you intended to imply that I would leave loose ends or if you intended to imply that I would betray us... or if I'm just mistaken and chasing windmills. It's pretty important to know if the people you work with questions your competence or loyalty."

"Considering the consequences to our people if we fail - and the horrific nature of the executions which we will suffer - there is no lack of competence or loyalty implied by reminders as to the importance of leaving none alive to betray us. There are some points so grave they must be spoken regardless."

"Understandable," Ash smiled and nodded. "I can't say I wouldn't have said the same things if I were in your shoes. For everyone's sake, there will be no one left to betray us. I will personally ensure that. And yes, words mean nothing... so I'm glad that we get to have this little excursion to see what we're all made of."

There was nearly a sudden chill in the air as Kaiae stiffened slightly from her previous, relatively relaxed posture. Her next words were careful, in that blank lack of tone that would frighten most with experience with her species. "I am anything but glad that my people are threatened such, nor that our leaders would forsake their oaths to such degree as I must weigh whether mine is more kept in its breaking."

Ash immediately tensed. She knew the next words out of her mouth could very well be catastrophic, but she had to be honest, "Oaths mean nothing without the principles behind them. If you ever have to weigh honoring an oath to doing what's right, I hope you always choose the latter. I've made that mistake before... more than once. It's why I no longer wear a uniform. It's why I'm here, on this ship, on this mission, with all of you. Oaths be damned. There are lives at stake, lives that we can save. I'm, personally, glad that we are in a position to do something about it."

Kaiae struggled to piece even an appropriate response on the lack of a response together; her previous exposure to humans for a time assisting only slightly; mostly in recognition of the disconnect.

"....Perhaps it is not possible to explain properly within the gap, between your cultural context and mine. It is never so simple as you make it out to be. I honor mine, in doing what is right for the Empire, for our people. I also break it, in disobeying the orders and command of the Praetor and the Senate. Who in turn break their own in their lack of action. None of that is inconsequential; and none of it stands alone." If someone has told her the year before that she would be standing attempting to explain to a human that her honor was both kept and tarnished alike by taking the right actions that kept the spirit of her oath to the Empire and their people while breaking the letter of obedience to the orders of lawful leadership breaking their own...She probably would have laughed in their face, honestly. In truth, it bothered Kaiae that the human seemed to entirely discount loyalty in such a way; made her resolve to watch her for any signs of the betrayal she had before assured her was not suspected. Anyone who would cavalierly disregard whatever commitments they had made to do whatever they felt in the moment...Well. An unreliable ally at best.

Ash nodded, trying to help her Romulan colleague see the truth, "No, we're all here because of a long chain of failures from a lot of people. You're right, it's not inconsequential. But in a universe where no one keeps oaths, where fates of entire planets are at stake... you never know who to trust. We use words like orders and command, thinking those above us will protect us, will do right for us. Like your Praetor and the Senate, Starfleet and the Federation have also failed everyone. Where has that gotten us? We're both here on this ship trying to fix what they broke. The only difference between us is that I don't have a crisis of conscience about oaths taken and broken. Which brings me back to my original question... have I given you any reason to doubt me? I feel I've been as honest as I can be to you."

"If no one kept what they swore to; neither your society nor mine would have risen. As for 'trust'...I think perhaps our two peoples use the term - and understand the concept even - in somewhat different ways. In meaning, practice, and expectations all."

"Perhaps..." Ash took a contemplative breath, "But underneath all of the duty and honor and glory of our respective societies were people like me: the ones that existed in the shadows. People like me make sure that the people like you, those that find themselves in a crisis of conscience, torn between one oath and another when societal norms fail... should never be in a situation like this where you are forced to choose. And here lies the consequences of one my of greatest regrets... that everything now has degenerated into a place of disorder and chaos, a place that I understand and that I thrive in, but you and others like you find distasteful and existentially troubling. I'm starting to see that you may find me distasteful and troubling. Perhaps you should. I haven't earned your trust and nothing I've told you in the course of this conversation has indicated that I will ever earn it. It is what it is, my friend."

Perhaps bizarrely to human sensibilities, the last few sentences spoken, more than anything else said so far, appeared to be met with both understanding and if not exactly approval, easy acceptance. It was, perhaps, an example itself of some of the prior sentiments for that matter: The nature of 'trust' as it played out for Romulans to most they encountered in their lives; without the same expectations that it was a given for most as humans seemed to generally give and to expect; and as humans tended to have difficulty operating without.

"Yes." There was no hostility in Kaiae's voice, nor any warmth; assessment and statement of the lay of the land, the framework with which they were expected to work; and the brisk acceptance of that reality as it stood. "We should tend to our tasks for the mission."

"Agreed. I'm glad we had this conversation," Ash was glad that she was able clear the air with the Lieutenant. While seemingly nothing was accomplished in their discourse, Ash wasn't exactly sure what she expected to have happened, but it would seem that the two of them have an understanding.

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