Surprise

Posted on Tue Jan 19th, 2021 @ 4:57pm by Major Ashley Rogers & Sublieutenant Renee Hernandez & Lieutenant Mila Lynn

2,458 words; about a 12 minute read

Mission: Chapter III: The Hunt is On
Location: Mess Hall
Timeline: 238701.21

Ash walked with Mila to the Mess Hall, it was still early so it was surprisingly empty. After the great meal that she and the twins shared with the last chef, she was looking forward to seeing what the new one could do. Until she actually saw who was in the kitchen....

Both Ash and Renee locked eyes with each other, looking like they've both seen a ghost.

Ash was the one who spoke first, "Renee? What... what... what are you doing here?" Of all the people Ash was not expecting to see... her ex definitely ranked high on that list. She took a protective step in front of Mila... the technology in her possession shouldn't fall into the wrong hands. Was Renee the wrong hands?

Mila looked at Ash, confused, but decided to not say anything.

Renee was still stunned but she regained her composure quickly after realizing Ash asked her a question, "I could ask the same of you."

Ash noticed the badge on Renee's shirt... oh no... Raven wouldn't have... Dammit, she shouldn't have put off reviewing the files on the new crew... "I think we work together now," she said as she flashed her badge.

Now this was a rather unexpected development. Of course, Ash would be out here. Of course, she would be working as a mercenary. And of course, it would be on the Ourainavassa. She must be one of Raven's friends from the Section. "Well, if you had left me a forwarding address, I would have been more successful in avoiding you. After all, it's a rather large galaxy," Renee quipped.

"And yet here we are..." Ash responded. "How'd you find me? Did your father tell you where I am?"

Renee scoffed loudly, "Oh, someone's ego has a life of it's own. I wasn't looking for you. And what the hell does my father have to do with this? You've been in contact with him but you haven't had the decency to explain to me in person why you left?"

Ash looked at Renee confused and mumbled to herself, "The universe hates me." She runs her hand through her hair, "I didn't mean to be in touch for your father either!"

Now Renee is looking at Ash with equal confusion, "What?"

"He helped me... helped us get the Ourainavassa. He kicked my ass for leaving you..." Ash sighed, "And I deserved every bit of it."

"Oh and that's supposed to make me feel better?" Renee said, glaring at Ash. "You took the coward's way out, Ash. Did you really think that just disappearing was the responsible and mature thing to do? Did you give a damn about me?"

Ash looked at Renee, "I'm sorry... I don't know what else to say. Or what else to tell you..." She looked at Mila apologetically... this wasn't what she wanted the young teen to see.

"So you really were just hoping that you'd never see me again and never had to deal with the consequence of your actions?" Renee asked, knowing she was playing with fire. They were together a long time and she knew what buttons to press. She noticed how protective Ash was of the young girl with her. Who was she?

"That's not fair!" Ash protested... she wasn't sure why she protested, Renee had every right to confront her. "Actually... that's very fair... and to be honest... yeah... I was really hoping I'd never have to see you again. Because I have no idea what I could ever say..."

Renee took a breath, not sure what to say to Ash either, "I thought I did... granted what I would've said to you has changed over time."

"You have every right to be angry," Ash said quietly.

Renee actually chuckled, "Oh... I'm not angry. I never was angry, Ash. Disappointed, sad, confused... yes. Not angry."

"Somehow I think that's worse," Ash admitted.

"What do you expect, Ash? I didn't think I'd run into you either! I'm not about to welcome you back into my life with open arms. I'm out here for probably the same reason you are... People need help and I'm don't want to sit on the sideline like Starfleet is doing."

"I don't expect anything at all... I'm still shocked to see you... I owe you an explanation..." Ash was just rambling now.

A smart part of Renee sympathizes with Ash, but now is not the time to let old feelings bubble back to the surface, "I'm waiting. Go on."

This really wasn't what Ash was expecting when she woke up this morning. Explaining her choices to her ex-fiance that she walked out on was something she was not ready to do, but yet, here she is, "This is going to sound terrible... but I needed to do this. I needed the freedom to make my own decisions and my own choices, without you."

"You're right, that does sound pretty terrible," Renee agreed.

Ash started to pace and run her hand through her hair, something she would do when she's uncomfortable, a tell that Renee was very familiar with, "I don't know who I am. I feel like I've never known who I am. You know this. I've always been conflicted. Torn. Uncomfortable in my own skin. I've always answered to something... to someone. Never myself. Starfleet wanted me to be someone I'm not. The Section groomed me to be what they needed me to be. You... you tried to help me find myself... and who I was with you was probably the closest I've ever been to understanding the person I am."

"So what happened?" Renee took a breath and took note of how hard this was for Ash.

"I wanted to be a better person for you. And that was the problem. For you," Ash paused before continuing. "The Section had contacted me about an assignment a few months before I left."

Now Renee's interest was piqued, "The Section? What did they want?" Probably the same thing they wanted from her when she agreed to help them again.

"They suspected something was going on at highest levels of Starfleet. I don't know what. I never asked. Obviously, I declined their request for my assistance. And to this day... I'm not sure if I declined because I didn't want anything to do with the Section or because I didn't want to disappoint you," Ash said as her voice wavered. "Then Mars happened."

"You think they knew Mars was going to happen?" Renee asked, putting the pieces together.

"I don't know. Maybe? Possibly? It's not like I went back to ask. But the possibility of that... that maybe if I had said yes, maybe 92,000 lives could have been saved? And I don't know if I said no because of me... or because of you," Ash was practically word vomiting at this point.

Renee raised an eyebrow, "So now you're blaming me for Mars?"

"No.... Like I said, this was going to sound terrible, but it's not. It's not you... it's me..." Ash rolled her eyes at herself. "I can't believe I said that." She looked at Mila, feeling vulnerable to the judgement that she will inevitably face from both her and Renee.

"I can't believe you said that either," Renee stifled a chuckle.

"Who am I without Starfleet telling me what to do? Who am I without the Section?" Ash looked Renee in the eyes, "Who I am without you? You were my conscience... my guiding light... and I didn't want to look at you and blame you for the guilt I felt. Guilt that I still feel. I couldn't have stayed."

"And you made that choice unilaterally? You didn't think I had a say in the matter? That I didn't deserve the decency of this conversation? That we had to somehow run into each other here and now for us to talk like adults?" Renee's pent up emotions were starting to surface.

Ash bit her her lower lip and nodded, "Yes. It was the only way."

"Coward," Renee said pointedly. "Do you have your answers? Did you find yourself yet?"

"I feel freer than I ever have... I answer to no one," Ash admitted.

"You answer to the highest bidder, a mercenary without conscience. Seems like the perfect life for you," Renee said, sounding harsher than she intended.

"I do what I need to do. Raven gives me the freedom to be who I am. Yeah we're freelancers... but, there's something more. This is a good crew. Good people. Hell... Nancy Gable is with us. Remember her?" Ash smiled thinking about Nancy, Hatham, even Kaol... "And this is my friend Mila... she's a genius," Ash said proudly. "And her brother is a bad ass pilot."

Renee noticed a change in Ash's demeanor, "You seem happy." Ash was friends with.... children?

"I am. That's not to say I wasn't happy with you..." Ash said a little too defensively.

"No, I get it. This makes a lot more sense hearing you tell me this than reading a note," Renee said.

"So... where does that leave us?" Ash asked meekly.

Renee crossed her arms, "Us? There is no us, Ash. You saw to that when you left. I have no intention of leaving. The other ships looking for crews are not at all appealing. And clearly you have no intention of leaving, not that I would ask you to. We'll just have to work together."

Ash nodded silently, out of all the possible outcomes of running into Renee and realizing they are both members of the same crew, this was probably the best outcome, "Are you okay with that?"

"Oh now you're considerate of my feelings?" Renee retorted.

"I deserved that," Ash sighed. "I never stopped caring about you, Renee."

"You have a hell of a way of showing it," Renee pointed out.

Ash hung her head, "I deserved that too. You deserve better."

"Oh, I know my own worth. Not everything revolves around you, Ash. I was fine before you were in my life. I was fine after you left my life. And I'll be fine having to put up with you again," Renee said, trying to convince herself that she could deal with seeing Ash on a daily basis after so long. And it wasn't as if she didn't have her own secrets to keep...

"I'll eat all my meals in my quarters... the replicators on the Ourainavassa works a lot better than it did on our last ship," Ash offered.

Renee scoffed and looked Ash up and down, "I'm not going to poison you. And you look like you haven't had a good meal in a long time."

"I have... just not regularly. I've done worse," Ash pointed out.

Renee nodded knowingly, "Says someone who was tortured as a POW..."

Ash allowed herself a chuckle, "Well yeah. No where to go but up from there..."

Renee smiled at Ash, "I've missed this. I've missed you."

"Me too. I'm sorry," Ash said, "We can make this work. Maybe we can even be friends?"

"How about you just settle for me not poisoning you and work our way up from there..." Renee smirked.

Ash nodded, "Deal."

Renee then looked at Mila, "I'm sorry you had to witness that..." she extended a hand, "I'm Renee Hernandez, Ash's ex-fiance, if you didn't pick up on that. So how did you two become friends?"

Ash looked at Mila with a held breath... hoping that she didn't hate her now. She would rather be tortured by Cardassians or assimilated by the Borg than have Mila hate her....

Finally, Mila shook her head, and took Renee's hand. "Mila Lynn, science officer. Nice to meet you." She looked at Ash, and noticed how uncomfortable she seemed. She almost appeared scared, something Mila had never imagined Ash could even be. Shit happens. We can talk later, she signed in an attempt to reassure her, before turning back to the other woman. "Ash saved my neck, and my brother's. And got us hired on this ship, made sure we didn't end up homeless. So yeah, she's good people."

Renee nodded at the young girl, sounds like something Ash would do. Her methods may always have been questionable but her motives have generally been good. But it was a little odd to have someone call Ash "good people."

"Well... You're the first ones here... so whatever you want for breakfast, I'll whip it up for you," she said to Mila. "I'll give you two time to decide," Renee said as she walked away.

Ash finally made eye contact with Mila and signed, I'm sorry you had to witness that... remember when we first met and I said that I'm really not a good person and I've hurt a lot of people.... well... if you didn't believe me then... here's proof." Her signing was sloppy and erratic and she hoped Mila could understand. She really didn't need to be reminded of her past and to have Mila here to be confronted with it.

Mila smiled. We all have a past. Sometimes, it catches up to us. It happens. Now, let's have something to eat, shall we?

Ash took a deep breath, one she was probably unconsciously holding and nodded.

Renee watched from the kitchen as Ash and the girl, Mila signed to each other. There was a sense of vulnerability with the former assassin that Renee almost didn't recognize. Maybe she did need to get away from her old life... from their life. A part of her wanted to stay angry at her ex, but seeing her again... she was still not happy with her but she could maybe understand a little more.

Renee walked back to the two of them, "It won't be long before other people show up and you lose out on having your own personal chef... so what will it be?"

Ash looked at Renee and then at Mila, "Renee's the best... you should definitely ask for whatever your heart desires, no matter how complicated." She smirked at Renee.

Mila chuckled. "I'm not too fancy. Eggs royale should do. And some strong raktajino. Let's see if you are as good as Ash says," she added, winking at Renee.

"Pancakes? Banana pancakes..." Ash started before Renee interrupted.

"With extra syrup and some but not too much whipped cream. I remember," Renee said. She then smiled at both of them, "And eggs Royale with a strong raktajino for Mila... and also a black coffee for Ash. You know you need it." She went back to the kitchen, leaving Ash a little surprised.

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